Did you know: according to a study from the University of Statistics I Just Made Up Right Now, yard signs have no measurable effect on the outcome of an election, but a candidate with good buttons is much more likely to win?
Well behold: the finest specimen of campaign button, which contains 65% more button than anything my opponents offer. Using state of the art pointy-piece-of-metal technology, this button will reliably affix to both clothing and skin, although bare-skin attachment is not recommended.
There is not one, but two ways that you can get your hands on one of these bad boys: I will be giving them out for free at all campaign events, or I can send you one directly for $5.
I will, however, offer a $5 rebate to anyone who successfully attaches a button to the back of Kevin Kiley’s jacket without him noticing.